5/16/2023 0 Comments Nasa haunted space![]() No doubt Neil deGrasse Tyson would tell me I’m being ridiculous, that there’s no such thing as ghosts, and therefore, no need to dread our contact with ghosts in space. ![]() I hope Mars is haunted by the spirits of some ancient alien species and they make Musk's colonists kill each other. Has anyone at NASA even seen Event Horizon? Slow your roll. Earth has plenty of problems to work out before we’re up to the horror of alien poltergeists. I’m picturing catacombs of their weird little skeletons, and the vibes are totally fucked, man. No thank you! If disturbing the tomb of an Egyptian mummy brings a deadly curse, then I shudder to think what happens when you fuck around in a sacred extraterrestrial burial ground. Astronomers aren’t expecting to meet a living alien race that annihilates us - rather, they seem to believe we’ll run across already extinct civilizations that may have (gulp) destroyed themselves. "The Milky Way is probably full of zombies, vampires, and ghosts" /KcYrAomof3 What will it see? Some scary shit, I guarantee you. We’re looking to send people back to the moon this decade, too, and additional rovers to Mars, and to launch a powerful new tool, the James Webb Space Telescope, sending it a million miles from our homeworld. Whatever haunts the lunar surface will not be impressed by our pathetic weaponry, and that’s why I’m worried that college students are presenting NASA with “ innovative concepts” for exploring “previously uncharted areas” on the spooky ol’ rock. You don’t have to tell me “it’s only a joke.” I’m well aware, because the idea of using a gun to ward off moon ghosts is laughable. Nasa employee: oh hey u guys are back earlyĪstronaut: *loading a pistol and getting back on the rocket-ship* moon's haunted To wit: Outer space, the moon, and other planets are all haunted. Just as worrisome as these technical hazards, though, are the supernatural ones. “Life in space is impossible,” reads the text at the beginning of Alfonso Cuarón’s 2013 thriller Gravity, which follows two astronauts as they try to survive the destruction of their shuttle by high-velocity debris. A decrepit mansion on Earth is far safer than the frigid vacuum that lies outside our atmosphere. ![]() But! Should you ask those children what they want to be when they grow up, a couple are likely to reply, “Astronaut.” They want to travel into space. In front of their peers, they may act brave, but a slight rustle from the overgrown yard will scatter the group to scream the way back to their respective homes. Most children don’t need to be told to stay away from the dark, abandoned, crumbling house at the end of the block - its very appearance strikes fear into their hearts.
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